Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Glass Half Empty? Glass Half Full?

Is it weird to think that something beautiful can come out of an ugly situation? How a dried up brown chrysalis can turn into a beautiful butterfly. A living thing that can fly away and soar to new heights? Can this ever be the same for social situations? I try to be an optimistic person. One who sees the glass half full instead of half empty. But when you have this feeling in your gut...that this one situation is already so bad and if you continue down the road it could get worse.....but there is a chance that it could get better...right?....Trying to weigh the costs and benefits is hard, and then when you throw in the fact that life is unpredictable....That, my friends, is when you pray....

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A New Year A New Me?

January 1st? That only means one thing: New Year's Resolutions! Sure, I tend to make them every new year, and every new year I tend not to follow them...But I think its always fun to have a "New You" mentality. And who knows? Maybe this year I'll follow through on my potential self improvements!

1) Become more involved in my campus ministry. RUF is where I first discovered Christ and really found a niche at NC State. I have gained many friends by participating in Bible studies and large group worships during each semester. But until now I have remained complacent with my position in the ministry. Sure, I participate in organized events as much as I can. Sure, I meet with the campus minister from time to time. But I want to give so much more. I want to join the ministry team. I want to plan more group bonding events. I want to reach out to the younger participants and minister to them as God wills it. I feel the need to give.

2) Form a band. True, I am in an amazingly awesome a capella group and I sing with the NC State Choral, but there is a thirst I need to quench and the only way to fix it is music. I need more outlets. I want to stand on a stage with great musicians who can rock out and express myself in a way that I can't right now. Whether its a coffee house or in the brickyard...I need to perform more.

3) Workout more. Or at least on a more regular basis. I have had this goal to get abs for the longest time. I'm pretty close. I work out and when I do I work out hard. But with school, a social life, and pathetic excuses I make to not work out I find myself going to the gym sporadically. I need to make a schedule and stick to it.

4) Have a daily devotional. I'm not going to lie, I have been struggling in an apathetic state of mind towards God. I have been kind of closed off this last semester and by doing so I have really taken myself out of my Christian community. This has significantly reduced my connection with God and I now realize that a daily devotional and private prayer time is extremely vital in my walk. I need to find a devotional book or pick a book in the bible and stick to reading it every morning.

5) Blog more. I feel like I have some funny/important stuff to say about my life and the world around me. That's why I started a blog in the first place...But I honestly haven't followed through with it. Sure, I post occasional videos from youtube of songs that I dig or pictures I take, but thats not enough. Those aren't my thoughts. Hopefully I can hunker down and start sharing more.

6) Save money. This is a necessity. I'm pretty sure its a necessity for everyone though. I have an apartment that I need to have rent for soon, and a couple mission trips I plan to go on...I also want a freakin car but I don't know how soon that is going to happen..

7) Start studying for the GRE. I have recently decided that I want to go to grad school for Therapeutic Recreation and with that dream comes the nightmare of the Graduate Record Examination...(With this resolution also comes with me finding a graduate school I want to go to)

8) Learn how to throw a teapot. I'm into pottery and I can throw some pretty awesome bowls and cups. But jeez teapots are hard. I have tried several times and have yet to complete a teapot that I can be satisfied with. Maybe I need to watch a couple youtube videos and research on the internet how to do it....and then practice practice practice!

9) Make a quilt. My mom is a rocking seamstress. She can patch a pair of pants in no time and quilts like a fiend. I have my own sewing machine that sits idle in my closet. I have always wanted to make a quilt of my own...why not add it to the list?

10) Make straight A's this semester. Simple right?

Alrighty. That's all I got. Ten LITTLE steps to making myself a better me or at least a me that I can be happier with. I think I'm up for the challenge...

...Alright 2011...Show me what you got!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Sound washes over me
Like waves at a beach
I am caught in the tide

So much talking
Everyone telling
Noone asking

I am running
Into white noise

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Deep Deep Love

The above is a youtube video of the "Passion of the Christ" with Phil Wickham's "Devine Romance" playing over it....

Friends, I have watched that video at least five times this week and with each viewing there are tears shed. I'm sure that we all have heard of the crucifiction. Christ took on our sins as his own to bear and went through an enormous trial. I have heard the story numerous times. I could see it in my head: a crown of thorns, a wooden cross....

But this video rocked me to the core. I am astonished.

This beautiful man, the Son of God no less, went through immense pain. Bore the wrath of the sinful and bloodthirsty. Riddiculed, broken down, and killed....To save our lives. How do we even deserve this? This deep love God has for us. This gift He has given us. This life I am not my own.

This video is an eye opener....This video puts a fire in my heart....To live out a life for one who love's me beyond comparison...To one that gave everything so that I could live free...I am just so thankful for this gift...and that fire that has been lit is burning to share this gift with the world...This is the real deal...